83 Quotes About Marriage

Quotes about marriage can be inspiring, funny, and romantic. Here are 83 of the best quotes about marriage.

Quotes About Marriage

1. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. – Mignon McLaughlin

2. By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

3. It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. – Friedrich Nietzsche

4. How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. – Oscar Wilde

5. Don’t marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. – James C. Dobson

6. A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. – Michel de Montaigne

7. Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. – Martin Luther

8. My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. – Winston Churchill

9. Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. – Marilyn Monroe

10. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

11. Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. – Franz Schubert

12. Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory. – Abraham Lincoln

13. One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. – Oscar Wilde

14. Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect. If it’s not based on respect, nothing that appears to be good will last very long. – Amy Grant

15. I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it. – Lyndon B. Johnson

16. More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. – Doug Larson

17. When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory. – Friedrich Nietzsche

18. There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. – Oscar Wilde

19. One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. – Judith Viorst

20. Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. – Katharine Hepburn

21. If I get married, I want to be very married. – Audrey Hepburn

22. Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. – Henny Youngman

23. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henny Youngman

24. A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. – James H. Boren

25. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin

26. Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. – Benjamin Franklin

27. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? – Groucho Marx

28. I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year. – Bette Davis

29. A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning. – Honore de Balzac

30. Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. – Bill Cosby

31. If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. – Katharine Hepburn

32. Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. – Jean Kerr

33. When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you’re sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship. – Joseph Campbell

34. Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. – Mae West

35. Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn’t they’d be married too. – H. L. Mencken

36. No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. – Honore de Balzac

37. All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. – Red Skelton

38. A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. – John Steinbeck

39. For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. – Erma Bombeck

40. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

41. Never get married in college it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake. – Elbert Hubbard

42. He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. – Mae West

43. To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it Whenever you’re right, shut up. – Ogden Nash

44. Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce

45. Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. – Sydney Smith

46. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

47. When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. – Prince Philip

48. It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass. – Rodney Dangerfield

49. There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again. – Clint Eastwood

50. Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does. – Groucho Marx

51. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. – Sacha Guitry

52. A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. – Andre Maurois

53. There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. – Homer

54. Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats. – Woody Allen

55. Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love. – Ellen Key

56. By our Heavenly Father and only because of God, only because of God. We’re like other couples. We do not get along perfectly we do not go without arguments and, as I call them, fights, and heartache and pain and hurting each other. But a marriage is three of us. – Barbara Mandrell

57. Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

58. If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love. – Michel de Montaigne

59. Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. – Ambrose Bierce

60. Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. – Gilbert K. Chesterton

61. Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. – H. L. Mencken

62. Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later for another thing, they die earlier. – H. L. Mencken

63. Well married a person has wings, poorly married shackles. – Henry Ward Beecher

64. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. – Brendan Behan

65. Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about. – Katharine Hepburn

66. I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don’t spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out. – Reese Witherspoon

67. Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives. – Samuel Johnson

68. It’s not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband. – Euripides

69. A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. – W. Somerset Maugham

70. An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren’t. – Sacha Guitry

71. A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. – Joey Adams

72. If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a hell of a lot of overlapping. – Mignon McLaughlin

73. There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded. – Princess Diana

74. Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it. – Josh Billings

75. Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married? – Barbra Streisand

76. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could. – Abigail Adams

77. The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. – A. P. Herbert

78. Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. – Rita Rudner

79. The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. – Honore de Balzac

80. Marriage is like a cage one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out. – Michel de Montaigne

81. The true index of a man’s character is the health of his wife. – Cyril Connolly

82. A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers. – Eddie Cantor

83. No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married. – Benjamin Disraeli

We hope you enjoyed this collection of quotes. Check out our picture quote of the day here.

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